I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I need a burrito and a hug.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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