Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
