if i can run in heels then i can drive
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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