Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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