I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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