There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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