Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
