So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
barbara walters just said penis...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
