You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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