I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
