i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
