so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
