So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
