dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
