She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
