real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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