bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
