Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
tell me about the eggs
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
