Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
