I hate your face
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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