I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
