He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
They are going to name an STD after you.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
