my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
