so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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