The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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