yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
