so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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