so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
