He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
