matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
