Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize