he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize