I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
