Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
