how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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