I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
