puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
