We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
