Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
