I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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