just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
