so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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