and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
