Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
