but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
is this the sara with the beer cane?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
