i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
