I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
