please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
