Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
