omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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