I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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