My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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