If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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