Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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