Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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