Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
