I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
