i just had sex bonerless
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
