i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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