Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
