WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize